43 Funniest Love Quotes That Will Definately Make You Laugh!





Are you in love and aware of positive and negative sides of love, then, you would definitely like these funny love quotes.  So Read these 50 funny quotes about love and relation.

1) My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. Joan Rivers

 

 2) If love is the answer, could you rephrase the questions? Lily Tomlin

 

3) Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. Billy Crystal

 

4) Where love is the case, the doctor is an ass. English Proverb

 

5) Love is sharing your popcorn. Charles Schultz

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6) Yes, I have a dirty Mind and right now you are running through it.

 

7)Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock. Jewish Proverb

 

8)A kiss without a mustache is like an egg without salt. Spanish Proverb

 

9) I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. Groucho Marx

 

10) What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork. Pearl Bailey

 

11) Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing. Natasha Leggero

 

12)Gravitation can’t be held responsible for people falling in love. Albert Einstein

 

13)If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something. Fran Lebowitz

 

14) Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in. Richard Jeni

 

15) Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. Phyllis Diller

 

16) Don’t make love by the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbors ain’t. Anonymous

 

17) Marriage is like pantyhose. It all depends on what you put into it. Phyllis Schlafly

18) Love with old men is as the sun upon the snow, it dazzles more than it warms. J. P. Senn

 

19) There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. Chris Rock

 

20) I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it? Jean Illsley Clarke

 

21) Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. Richard Pryor

 

22) My brother is gay and my parents don’t care, as long as he marries a doctor. Elayne Boosler

 

23) A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. Tim Allen




24) When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life. Richard Lewis

 

25) Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements. Kathy Mohnke

 

26) Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. Bill Maher

 

27) Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there. George Burns

 

28) Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. Erma Bombeck

 

29) My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light. Rodney Dangerfield

 

30) What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday. Cindy Garner

 

31) Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. Woody Allen

 

32) If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools. Katherine Mansfield

 

33) Women hope men will change after marriage, but they don’t; men hope women won’t change, but they do. Bettina Arndt

 

34) True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. Erich Segal

 

35) I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Rita Rudner

 

36) By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. Socrates

 

37) Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you’d be surprise at the large number that re-enlist. James Garner

 

38) An arhaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her. Agatha Christie

 

39) Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner. Jerry Seinfeld

 

40) Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are. Will Ferrell

 

41) If you text ‘I love you’ to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back. Chelsea Peretti

 

42) Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else. Jean Kerr

 

43) My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine’s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside — Made in Taiwan! Leopold Fetchner

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